Healthy Boundaries

Simplify your life by focusing your thoughts only what you truly wish to experience.  Only agree to do the things that bring you joy, happiness, or peace.  If you do something because you feel "obligated" to do it, or you feel like you "should" do it, you will only find yourself feeling resentful in the end.  IF this is something you struggle with, now would be a good time to explore that issue in your Akashic Records.  Are you afraid of rejection?  Do you perceive it is the only way to get approval? What would it take for you to be able to give yourself permission to be true to yourself, making sure your needs are met with joy and ease?

Can you set healthy boundaries for yourself?  Are you able to tell a friend "No thank you, I have other plans at that time?" even if those other plans are quietly reading a book or taking a long, luxurious bath?  Or can you only deny another person's request if you are already "busy" doing something for another person?  (as if your needs were not as important)

Bottom line:  IF YOU DON'T RESPECT YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES, NO ONE ELSE EVER WILL!

If you find yourself feeling resentful, chances are it is really an opportunity for you to look at your own ability to set, and keep, healthy boundaries.  The other people in your life will continue to take advantage of you (your perception) because YOU HAVE TRAINED THEM TO DO SO.

Take baby steps if you must, just start by saying "No thank you" if it is something you really don't want to do.  Guess what?  You don't even have to explain WHY you don't want to accept the other persons offer or request!  Adopt the belief that you "say what you mean and mean what you say."  So, if you say no to someone, stick to it!  Giving yourself permission to say NO is setting the boundary in place.  Sticking to your NO is keeping the boundary in place.  I can almost guarantee that when you first start telling people NO, they are going to put some pressure on you to change your mind.  IF YOU CAVE UNDER THE PRESSURE, your boundary is lost and you will continue to experience the resentment.  BUT, if you patiently and lovingly hold true to yourself, keep your boundary in place, the other people in your life WILL learn to interact with you differently.

Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world.  When you change the inner world, your belief about your right to say NO to another, then your outer world will begin to change to reflect the change within you.

Historically, healthy boundaries has been a big issue with light workers, caregivers, teachers, healers, and such.  There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first!  In fact, it is important that you do put yourself first.  It is important that you do take the time to take care of yourself, fill yourself up with love and compassion for Self, EVERY DAY.  After all, how can you truly be there for another if you are sickly, unhealthy, or low on energy?

Setting healthy boundaries is one way of claiming your personal power.  Each time you do so, you are indirectly giving another who struggles permission to do the same.  We teach by example and model through our actions.  Setting and keeping healthy boundaries is not only healthy for you on many levels, but it is also good for everyone around you.

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Kathy McGinn

Kathy McGinn has been a spiritual teacher and energetic healer for nearly 20 years.  She has traveled internationally to work with clients, students, and facilitate retreats.  She has hosted an internet radio show, written a book, and created guided meditations.  Her passion is helping others to better understand the nature of who they are and how they relate to the world around them.