Life is full of patterns, and those patterns give us much comfort…until there is a deviation from the pattern. The question becomes, how do you choose to respond when there is a deviation? You cannot always control the patterns themselves, but you do always have control over how you choose to respond to those patterns, or deviations from the patterns, whichever the case may be.
For example, how many thousands of times have you walked into a room and flipped a light switch into the up position and the light comes on? The first time you encountered a light switch and someone said, “just flip it up” you probably followed directions but were not really certain if it would work or what it would do. You simply followed the instructions. Over time, as you continue to build a a pattern of flip the switch and get light, you began to trust that every time you flip a switch you would get light. You get so comfortable with this pattern, that you don’t even think twice about it. When you want light you just walk to the switch on auto pilot, flip it, and expect to have light. And, most of the time you do!
But what happens when you flip that switch and the light doesn’t come on? In that instant you experience a bit of a disconnect, due to the deviation from the trusted pattern. I know for me, it is a little moment where I sort of halt my physical movement, blink my eyes, and think “what??”. After a few seconds it registers what just happened (or in this case didn’t happen) and then I have to decide how to respond. Now, some days I might be frustrated. Some days I might simply think “oh, time for a new bulb.” Occasionally, I might think, “Crap, there is something wrong with the light fixture and I am going to have to hire an electrician and it’s going to cost me money and and and….blah blah blah.”
What is it exactly that determines how you respond? Your emotional state when the deviation from the pattern occurs. If you are feeling confident and secure when the deviation happens, you likely respond very matter- of-factly to the situation and move on. If you are already frustrated or irritated about something else, well then your response is going to be more frustration. If you are already fearful about something else, well your response to that deviation from the pattern is likely to be filled with fear.
So you see, the deviation is not the issue. The deviation is just the thing that is happening. The real issue is where are you emotionally when it does happen? And, what how do you choose to respond!
I once told some of my EMF Balancing students that their only job in this whole world was to do whatever it takes to get into their “happy place” in healthy ways. And then from their “happy place” all other good things will flow. I still stand by that.
In the world of EMF Balancing we call it “going to your Core”, in HeartMath we call it “getting coherent”, in the teaching of Abraham-Hicks it is called “getting into the Vortex”, while others may call it “being centered.” The new buzz words of the day is "regulation", "self-regulation", "emotional regulation", and resilience building! Different teachings will call it different things, the label doesn’t matter. What matters is finding your method for getting into and maintaining your happy place. There are LOTS of ways to establish this positive state within you, and if you need help doing so, I am just a click away.
So to sum it up, patterns exist throughout your life. You create them every day. Some of you are more aware of the patterns, while others are not. I used the example of the light switch because it is simply and not associated with a lot of emotion. But, the same philosophy applies to your personal relationships, too.
If you have a significant other in your life (boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, partner) you have established patterns of behavior. One day you do something for the first time and get a certain response. You like the response so you continue to do that same thing, and continue to get that same response. A pattern has been created. Until one day you do that same thing, trusting you will get the same result, and YOU DON’T. Now there is a deviation in the pattern!
Your emotional state at the time is going to determine how you respond to that deviation. Are you going to trust that it will still work out in some joyful manner, even if it is different? Are you going to jump to the conclusion that life as you know it is now over and you might as well give up? Or, are you going to land somewhere in the middle of those two extremes?
My habit in the past was to desperately try to recreate the pattern that I had found comfort and security with. This was nothing but an exercise in frustration most of the time! The pattern was changing because something within me was trying to evolve, to bring me to the next level of balance, harmony, and joy. I have learned that if we resist change, we feel the pain, worry, and frustration. If we allow the change to occur, to flow, and trust that it will all be for the best, guess what? It is. Of course the challenge is in recognizing WHAT it is that is ready for release, what is asking to be let go!
So, I have learned now to create a new type of pattern. Not a pattern I can control. Not a pattern that has specific facts and outcomes. Instead, I have created a pattern of trusting in the “periods of not knowing.” I have learned to be comfortable with uncertainty, because I TRUST that if I can maintain my happy place (rather than getting all freaked out because there was a deviation from a pattern) that all good things will continue to flow to me, in ways I could not begin to imagine, and the only thing I have to do to receive it is to simply let go of my need to keep the old pattern and embrace this new one.
I have had much practice with establishing this pattern. It hasn’t always been easy. I sometimes fought tooth and nail to hang on to an old pattern, even though it was no longer working for me, and causing me great distress in the process. And then, I would FINALLY let go, and EVERY TIME I did something better really did flow right into my life. I still resist the letting go sometimes (old habits die hard), but what I can tell you is that I have shortened that cycle tremendously. What used to take me weeks or months, now take hours, sometimes just a few minutes.
My challenge to you is this…
What patterns in your life are asking for release? Which new patterns would you like to embrace? And what can you do to get into and maintain YOUR happy place so you can allow all good things to flow to you? If you know the answers to these questions, you are well ahead of the game. If you realize these are important questions to have answered, but need help finding those answers, I would suggest a Soul Whispering session or a Reflections session.